AWESOME UNLIMITED is about making your own rules, and living beyond expectation. And I’m kicking things off with AWESOME AUGUST – an entire month dedicated to celebrating what makes you awesome. And what we can do to be awesomer. Not what I can do, or that person over there can do, but what you can do. Because this is about celebrating all kinds of awesome – including your kind.
AUGUST UNLIMITED is a virtual event – in other words, there is actually no event. You do your own thing which can be whatever the fuck you want. Because who am I to put limits on what is and isn’t awesome, right?
Please know, this isn’t some bullshit ‘every player wins a prize’ event for entitled people who just want shit for doing sweet fuck all. It’s just that you set your own rules. And I trust you. I believe in you. I reckon you’re probably already pretty fucking awesome, but more importantly, capable of being a bit more awesome. And that’s what life is all about: All kinds of awesome. Your kind of awesome. And always trying to up the awesome level, even if it’s just a little bit. Because every little bit of awesome counts. So I’d like to give you a gentle shove, or possibly a massive kick up the arse, in the right direction. Whatever direction that is for you.
THE RULES.
So here’s the rules. OK, yeah, I just said AWESOME UNLIMITED is about making your own rules, but this is my fucking event, so I made a few of my own, and if you want to play, you have to play by them.
RULE 1: DREAM.
This is the most important one, because it’s the one you make up yourself. You get to dream up and choose your own adventure. Seriously, I don’t give a flying fuck what awesome thing you want to do in August, it’s totally up to you. I won’t judge. You can walk, hike, run, ride, swim, paddle, jump, lift, climb, knit… seriously, it’s your life, go fucking live it. And love it. But you know, push yourself a bit too. So the idea is you can do something new, something scary, something different, or something… more. Set a goal a bit beyond what you’d usually do. Beyond expectation even. Maybe beyond what others expect of you. But definitely beyond what you expect of yourself. (If you need some thought starters, check out the suggestions in the FAQs.)
If you’re going to run, set a goal to run bit further or faster or more often. Maybe a bit further in one hit, or a weekly or monthly total. I originally conceived this as an ‘active/adventure’ type challenge but I’m not gonna stop you if you want to do something like knit up a storm. Why would I? So do that whole knit one, pearl one a bit more than usual. Knit that scarf a bit longer. Use a new colour. Or finally finish that thing you’ve been meaning to finish for ages. You could even do something like paint a picture, write a poem, lose a kilo, give up booze or meat or donuts, or raise a certain amount of money for your favourite charity. Comprende? You don’t have to set a goal that’s impossible to meet. And I sure as shit don’t expect you to set a goal that’ll be the end of you. Just something awesome.
How will you know if you’ve set a good goal? Here’s the test: Close your eyes. (After you’ve finished reading this, otherwise it makes it tricky to know what the test is and I may lose you forever just sitting there with your eyes closed waiting for something to happen.) Imagine you just achieved your thing. Do you feel pretty fucking chuffed with yourself? Yes? If you got a medal for doing it, would you be able to look at that medal and have the memory of the awesome thing you did come flooding back in, and feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside? Like a unicorn just poked you with its horn in a really friendly, but possibly slightly inappropriate way? Perfect. Than that’s your thing. If you’re a bit ho hum about it all, you probably didn’t aim high enough. And if you did a bit of poo in your pants just thinking about it, you may want to dial it back a little. Or not. Hey, it’s your fucking goal, leave me out of it.
RULE 2: DECIDE.
You know, a real decision. Not one of those “oh yeah, I’ll probably do that. One day. Maybe.” type decisions. But an actual decision. Commit. Which means once you’ve signed up, you send me your AUGUST UNLIMITED goal. And let me know if I can show the world how awesome you’re planning on being. You can keep it private if you want, but if you share it, you’ve really committed. And you might just inspire someones else. We’re all in this together, remember? No one’s gonna laugh at you if you don’t make it. Probably. Unless you pick something particularly fucking ridiculous, then we might secretly have a bit of a giggle, but it will be behind your back so you’ll never know anyway. Besides, declaring your goals publicly is a good way to put your arse on the line.
RULE 3: DO.
As you can imagine, this bit’s quite important. Dreaming is nice enough I guess. But life is about doing. Take action. Tick your box. Actually be awesome. And let us know when you’re done so I can tell you how awesome you are.
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
OK, so I wanted everyone to be able to enter, no limits, so you can enter for free. It’s just that if you do, you get sweet fuck all from me. You get your choice of a virtual pat on the back or a virtual fist bump, but fuck all else. Oh, what the fuck, how about I send you an exclusive limited edition sticker as well? A sticker may not be a new car, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t stick it on a new car if you have one . Or up your arse. No judgement. Either way, getting a sticker instead of a medal doesn’t make you any less awesome. It just means you lived your life. And got a sticker basically for free.
(Limited to 100 entries – which is kind of ironic for an event about being unlimited – but if I have to lick more than 100 stamps to send out all those stickers I might end up like George’s girlfriend Susan in that episode of Seinfeld.)
THE BLOODY AWESOME ENTRY: $30.
You dream, you decide, you do, and fuck it, I’m doing bling. Bling is the thing. Even though yeah, I know its not everyone’s thing. So if it ain’t your thing, don’t sign up for this one. Easy. But I thought it would be bloody awesome if you could earn yourself a medal for when you cross the virtual finish line of that thing you set out to do. So when you’re dreaming, make sure you think of something that is medal-worthy so when you get it, and look at it, or wear it around, you are truly impressed with how bloody awesome you really are. I’ll also donate $5 to White Ribbon.
(Limited to 50 entries.)
THE FUCKING AWESOME ENTRY: $60
Doing this one doesn’t technically make you any more awesome than the people who do a different entry, but it does mean you get more awesome shit. With this one, you get you the whole box and dice of swag. You get a Tshirt, a medal and a sticker. And a virtual fist bump if you want one. I’ll also donate $5 to White Ribbon.
(Limited to 50 entries.)
Any questions? Ask away. Or check out these Frequently Asked Questions. (Even though no one has actually asked any of them yet.)
Or if you can read, you get it, and you’re in and you ready to make your August Awesome? THEN ENTER NOW. (OK, this link isn’t live yet. Stay tuned.)