There’s an old joke, (and no, it's not me), which I guess probably isn’t a joke but more of a parable or something, about a guy who keeps praying to god to let him with the lottery so his life will be better. He does this for years and years and one day god [...]

  Fuck I hate hypocrites. Even if I'm one myself at times. Meh, it happens. I tell people to be kind, but also tell people to fuck off. Hey, we all have our moments. And sometimes, compared to what I'd really like to say, a run of the mill 'fuck off' is me being kind. [...]

It’s pretty easy to know the winning lottery numbers after the lottery’s already been drawn. Knowing shit after it’s already happened doesn’t make you clever. Or a psychic. Or a strategist. Or anything other than someone who states the fucking obvious. No one knows what’s going to happen next. Literally no one. Even with all [...]

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the “I’m entitled to my opinion” defence lately. And whilst usually I just think “yeah, you’re entitled to shove it up your fucking arse”, I’ve really been doing my best to come up with something a little more insightful, although probably not all that much more useful. And [...]

When the same sex marriage debate was in full swing a few years back, something happened that literally changed my life. I called an old work colleague of mine a ‘homophobic cunt’. Actually, I didn’t just call him that, I took a photo he’d posted with some bullshit “I’m against same sex marriage” frame on [...]

Look, I get it. Change can be weird. And confusing. And uncomfortable. And sometimes, if it has sweet fuck all to do with you, it can seem unnecessary. If you’re not trans, for example, why would you give a flying fuck about trans rights? Maybe you’re a good person who cares about things like equality [...]

I’m coming up on 13 years Livin’ La Vida Sober. No drugs. No booze. Just a shit tonne of sugar. Which OK, yeah, that's probbaly a drug. And swearing. Not a drug. Fuck, I'm not a saint. Just sober. I’ve tried to write about my sober journey a few times, and it always ends up [...]

Sometimes I write a lot of stuff. Sometimes, admittedly not very often, I write less stuff. This is one of those times. because some fuck thats just aren’t that complicated. And here goes: If you fuck shit up, own it, and say sorry. And mean it. We all make mistakes. Some, like me, more than [...]

I was chatting to someone the other day about the things I’d written so far, and I acknowledged just how contradictory most of them had been. Fuck first world problems. But also, fuck pretending your problems aren’t still problems. Fuck being aimless. But also, fuck goals that make you feel like shit. Fuck the shit [...]

  We all get a bit of a mixed fucking bag at times, don’t we? Good times. Shit times. The whole enchilada. It’s pretty easy for most of us to accept that good times sometimes come with a side serving of shit. But it’s cool, things are good. We decide which bits we pay attention [...]