I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the “I’m entitled to my opinion” defence lately. And whilst usually I just think “yeah, you’re entitled to shove it up your fucking arse”, I’ve really been doing my best to come up with something a little more insightful, although probably not all that much more useful.
And here’s where I got to. And stick with me on this, because I’m not even sure if I know what I mean yet, so there’s a fair chance you won’t either.
It all started when I saw outdoor retailer REI post about their support of Pride month in the USA and someone took the time to write “I’m disappointed” on their Instagram post. And it got me thinking. Is there a difference between feeling disappointed, and being a big enough fuckhead to take the time to write it? And you know what? I think there probably fucking is.
That cockwomble is, no doubt, perfectly entitled to their stupid fucking opinion. No one’s gonna deny that. If they want to cry themselves to sleep tonight being disappointed about something that has literally no fucking effect on their life what so ever, they should go their hardest. Why not, right? What you do in your own home is nobody’s business. Unless it’s lock someone in the cellar, in which case, that’s definitely frowned upon.
There’s no dramas with people being entitled to their opinions at all. It’s when and where and how you offer them that things get tricky.
Even that Fuckhead Folau is allowed to think gay people go to hell, for example. Meh, whatevs. If he keeps his stupid fucking opinion to himself, I’m gonna say no harm, no foul. He’s entitled to it.
Maybe then, there’s a difference between being entitled to your opinion, and whether or not you should actually express it. You’re entitled to stick your pepper grinder up your own arse, for example, but I don’t necessarily want to watch you doing it on social media.
And there’s the distinction.
If, when you see REI post about their support of Pride, and they say “Hey, what do all you biggots think about us flying the rainbow flag this month?” I reckon it’s all bets are off and you can probably say how disappointed you are, for literally no real reason what so ever.
But if you’re not asked, how about you just shut the fuck up about it? Because firing off your opinion when it’s not asked for goes beyond being entitled to having your opinion, and becomes something else, doesn’t it?
If you drill down, that person wasn’t really saying they were disappointed, were they? They could have been disappointed all on their own. By expressing it, they were really communicating something extra. Something different. What they were actually doing is taking the time and effort, when not asked, to say “I think your values are shit”. That’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? They weren’t just expressing their own opinion, they were doing it in a way and time and place that was at the expense of someone else’s. They were disapproving.
The other important thing here is, where does your opinion and what is it designed to do? Because there’s a paradox here right? If I say your opinion is fucking stupid, then isn’t that me expressing my stupid fucking opinion? Well, yes. And no. This is where five year old “You started it!” logic comes in to play.
You see, if my opinion doesn’t hurt anyone, isn’t designed to restrict how someone else lives their life and all that, then that’s a little different, right? And if my opinion is purely to tell you you’re a bit of a fuckhead for expressing yours, then that’s different as well. Because it’s designed to protect people from yours.
So next time someone goes with the “Oh, I’m entitled to my opinion” when, inevitably, that’s code for “I’m a fuckstick”, you might want to point out they’re also entitled to shut the fuck up about it, or go and share it somewhere it’s actually being asked for or where it might be welcome.
Yes, I know you shouldn’t really say that because being kind and all that, but if you do ever have the opportunity to have a respectful conversation about the subject, maybe this thought will help. Probably not, but who knows? Not me, that’s for sure.
Because I strongly suspect people who share their opinions uninvited, especially when those opinions come at someone else’s expense, are really wanting to communicate something else. Something negative. Something judgemental. Something destructive. And fuck. that.
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