I’ve run this event quite a few times so I know there’s a pretty decent hill at about he 5km mark and am prepared. To walk. Which I do. And to be perfectly honest, the race goes pretty smoothly for quite a few of the next kms until I start hallucinating that I can hear bagpipes.

A rainbow appears and I’m like “oh wow, a rainbow” but you know what’s at the end of the rainbow? A fucking hill. The first of many in fact. No pot of gold. Just a fucking hill.