(Not so great) Great Southern Bolt.
Last year I flagged the Great Southern Bolt as a goal race, trained real hard, and for all my carrying on had a pretty good run. This year I didn’t, I didn’t, and I didn’t. What a fucking shit show.
Aus Geo Finalist… and how about that.
Rightio, so every year I go along to the Australian Geographic Nature Photographer of the Year finalist exhibition at the SA Museum and think “fuck, how cool would it be to get a finalist?” And most years I enter a few pics with hopeless optimism and get the ‘tough titties your photos are shitty’ email reply. And that’s OK. These competitions suck anyway. You know, unless you actually get a finalist. Then they suck a lot less.
Five (Minus four of them) Peaks
I’ve run this event quite a few times so I know there’s a pretty decent hill at about he 5km mark and am prepared. To walk. Which I do. And to be perfectly honest, the race goes pretty smoothly for quite a few of the next kms until I start hallucinating that I can hear bagpipes.
Conquer the Summit. And the Portaloo.
I’ve run this event quite a few times so I know there’s a pretty decent hill at about he 5km mark and am prepared. To walk. Which I do. And to be perfectly honest, the race goes pretty smoothly for quite a few of the next kms until I start hallucinating that I can hear bagpipes.
Going Loopy at Myponga
A rainbow appears and I’m like “oh wow, a rainbow” but you know what’s at the end of the rainbow? A fucking hill. The first of many in fact. No pot of gold. Just a fucking hill.
City to Bay is Back Baby!
After two years of Covid shitfuckery the mighty City to Bay is back and sign me up baby! This is South Australia’s biggest run in terms of how many people do it, and I’ve done it I’m not sure how many times but let’s say quite a few.
Wonder(ing what the fuck I’m doing here)land Trail Run
Now, you may be surprised to hear that other than that, it all went pretty smoothly. I did a decent time. Finished. And, ah, why the fuck is my bottom lip tingling? Then my top lip? Then my whole mouth and it feels like I’ve just been to the dentist which is weird cause it’s more like 3pm although that’s 2:30pm local time in SA which we all know is dentist time. Please don’t make me explain it. OK. Sure. 2:30… tooth hurty. There, I said it.
Mt Crawford… actually wasn’t awful.
I haven’t even finished my Wonderland Race Report yet and here I am, with my Mt Crawford run a week later already in the bag. Which pretty much sums up how Wonderland took forfuckingever now I think about it. Although if memory serves, last year’s Mt Crawford race was a massive clusterfuck so I'm definitely hoping for a better result this year.
The Fed (up with people getting lost and being angry) Ultra
The first part of the race is a dizzying loop the loop of Monarto where we run past lots of enclosures but mostly all I see are other runners. I do see some white things with big twirly horns, and some other beasts out in a field that may or may not have been cows. Or bushes.
Melrose Dementia Festival
After the shit show that was last year’s race, there’s no way I’m doing Melrose again this year. Although at some point the Race Director let’s me know that he’s done me a bib just in case I decide to register and I just laugh because fuck. that.