Fuck I hate hypocrites.
Even if I’m one myself at times. Meh, it happens.
I tell people to be kind, but also tell people to fuck off. Hey, we all have our moments. And sometimes, compared to what I’d really like to say, a run of the mill ‘fuck off’ is me being kind. But in an ideal world, a world where I’m not a hypocrite, I wouldn’t say it. Ever*. (*Probably.)
So yeah, I think it’s good to be consistent. People who say they like you, for example, then do shitty things, can fuck right off. Wait, I mean, they are obviously on their own journey and blah blah blah. Nah, they can fuck right off.
But then there’s accusing people of being hypocrites because of something they did 10,000 years ago that isn’t consistent with who they are now and what. the actual. fuck.
Same goes with people who try and do the right thing, but don’t get it 100% right 100% of the time.
Let me clarify, I’m not talking about someone who doesn’t do mass shootings 99% of the time so we need to cut them some slack for that one time they did. Some things are shitty enough to be worthy of a bit of condemnation, prosecution or fuckoffery. And maybe a dick punch.
I’m more talking about people who might choose to not eat meat, for example, but still drive a car. (Yes, I know a car is not an animal but trust me, I see people be critical of vegos for still driving cars because something or other.) If you’re trying to do some good, then good for you. If it means you still wear leather shoes or have a pet budgie, but don’t eat cows, I don’t think you’re a hypocrite, I think doing some good is better than doing none at all. And the cows are probably pretty happy about it too.
So if you’re one of those people who thinks you can undermine someone’s decent action by pointing out something you think is inconsistent, please tell yourself to fuck off for me.
Same goes with people who used to do certain things, who don’t any more. And I’ll give you an example.
First, let me be clear, I think ‘Celebrity Chef’ Pete Evans is fucking plonker. But that doesn’t mean I disagree with literally everything he says. Even a broken clock is correct twice a day, and even a complete fuckwit can say stuff that’s true from time to time as well. So if he wants to promote clean living now, I’m not overly fussed if he used to snort lines of coke at his restaurant. More power to him. People are allowed to change. They’re allowed to get better and smarter and make wiser choices.
I’m not about to buy one of his $20,000 glorified lava lamps to not cure Covid. Fuck, I won’t even be buying his essential oils because to me they’re essentially fucking useless. But I’m down with some of the stuff he says about making better food choices. It doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything he says. And it doesn’t mean he’s my most trusted source for information on global pandemics. It just means that if I really want to, I’m allowed to be OK with some of the things he says. And I reckon he’s allowed to make choices now that are different to the ones he used to make, without it somehow undermining the stuff he says now.
In fact, I have to grant him that privilege if it’s one I want for myself. And trust me, after some of the things I’ve said and done over the years, I need it.
If someone is worried about being forced to take a vaccine they’re not sure has been tested thoroughly enough, it shouldn’t be relevant that they chose to take drugs when they were 18. Two. Different. Things. Not hypocrites. Completely fair enough. Plus… choice. It’s a beautiful thing.
I sell Tshirts that say we shouldn’t ride elephants. But hey guess what? I’ve ridden elephants! I’m not proud of it now, but I have. And now I know better, and do better. Does that make me a hypocrite? If I had one parked in my garage that I rode to work, then yes. What’s the statute of limitations on hypocrisy though? Hopefully long enough that I can say that was then, this is now. And mean it. And not be character assassinated for it.
I’m just gonna hang it out there then, that people are allowed to change. Not only allowed to, but plenty of them, myself included, bloody well should. We need to.
So before you’re too quick to label someone else a hypocrite, it’s worth check to see if your criteria might actually make you a bit of a knobhead. And if so… fuck. that.
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