We all get a bit of a mixed fucking bag at times, don’t we? Good times. Shit times. The whole enchilada.
It’s pretty easy for most of us to accept that good times sometimes come with a side serving of shit. But it’s cool, things are good. We decide which bits we pay attention to, and on we go. And that makes sense, because good times are fucking good.
Then we hit the shit times. Maybe not all of us. Maybe not often. But odds are, even if you’re kissed on the dick by a fairy, you’re gonna have some shit served up at some point. Eventually. Yes, even if you work hard, play hard, pray hard, are kind to everyone, follow all the rules, and do everything right. You’re gonna end up in destination shit, population you.
Maybe it’s a little pile of shit and we can go around or step over it.
Maybe it’s a global shit storm like the coronavirus.
Well then, my friends, it’s time to play the fuck that focus game again.
We can focus on the shit bits, or the good bits. Because if even a global pandemic that fucks with the very fabric of society everywhere on the planet can have good bits, so can our shit stuff.
Without wanting to minimise the death toll or financial hardship and associated problems that come with times like these, because let’s be honest, that stuff is definitely pretty shit, even a shit show of epic proportions like this one, has a good side, right?
We get to see what a world looks like with less traffic. And when we do have to go places, there’s way less people to rage at. And way more parking spaces. Because… less traffic. *fist pump*
The environment gets a break with less pollution. Wait, there’s mountains over there? Who the fuck knew?
In some places at least, there’s more support for vulnerable people. And they said it couldn’t be done.
We can finally work from home in our tracky dacks and how good are tracky dacks and please don’t let that part of this ever end!
We get to try different things and explore new places. You’ll know your local neighbourhood like the back of your hand pretty soon and if you’re ever chased by the police or brain eating zombies, you’ll absolutely know the best escape route.
We now know how to make our own fucking bread. And it doesn’t come in a plastic wrapper. How about that eh? (To be fair, I still have no idea, but I’ve heard it’s a thing.)
We learn not to ever take basic shit for granted even though you and I both know five minutes after this is all over we absolutely will again.
We work out which of our friends and contacts are whiney fucking ungrateful knob jockeys.
We also get to work out which of our friends and contacts are selfish entitled cunts who think they’re above or beyond the rules and don’t give a fuck about the greater good because “but I really want to go there this isn’t fair and those rules are stupid”.
We see who’s part of the tin foil hat wearing brigade and why the fuck are we even friends with people who think this cray cray shit and seriously you just need to shut. the fuck. up. right. now*.
Our Facebook feeds are now way better because we unfollowed, unfriended or just flat out blocked the aforementioned fuckheads.
And probably plenty of other stuff as well.
You see, if even a global pandemic that isn’t actually a hoax can have good bits about it, them maybe even our shit day or week or life can have good bits too.
I’m not talking about sticking our head in the sand or up our arse and pretending the shit bits don’t exist. It can be useful to know they exist. The world gets better when people work on making shit things better. But are shit things and times exclusively shit? Fuck. No.
So before we have too much of a whinge and disappear in a tsunami of self pity, lets ask ourselves, “What’s good about this?”. And don’t even think about saying “nothing” because if you do, you’re simply not trying hard enough.
I’m no crystal waving, chakra rubbing, cosmic cockhead, but I for one am not gonna cry a river of tears while someone plays me a tiny violin because I think shit times are completely shit. Fuck. that.
I’d love to hear what good stuff you think has come of this shit show. Leave me a comment on here or on social media and maybe I’ll add some of your good stuff to my list as well! S x
* If by the the time you read this Grand Emperor Gates is in fact a dark lord type figure running the world and 5G has killed 80% of the population, please ignore that bit. They were right. My bad.
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