After two years of Covid shitfuckery the mighty City to Bay is back and sign me up baby! This is South Australia’s biggest run in terms of how many people do it, and I’ve done it I’m not sure how many times but let’s say quite a few.

Now, you may be surprised to hear that other than that, it all went pretty smoothly. I did a decent time. Finished. And, ah, why the fuck is my bottom lip tingling? Then my top lip? Then my whole mouth and it feels like I’ve just been to the dentist which is weird cause it’s more like 3pm although that’s 2:30pm local time in SA which we all know is dentist time. Please don’t make me explain it. OK. Sure. 2:30… tooth hurty. There, I said it.

I haven’t even finished my Wonderland Race Report yet and here I am, with my Mt Crawford run a week later already in the bag. Which pretty much sums up how Wonderland took forfuckingever now I think about it. Although if memory serves, last year’s Mt Crawford race was a massive clusterfuck so I'm definitely hoping for a better result this year.

The first part of the race is a dizzying loop the loop of Monarto where we run past lots of enclosures but mostly all I see are other runners. I do see some white things with big twirly horns, and some other beasts out in a field that may or may not have been cows. Or bushes.

After the shit show that was last year’s race, there’s no way I’m doing Melrose again this year. Although at some point the Race Director let’s me know that he’s done me a bib just in case I decide to register and I just laugh because fuck. that.

I’ve done the Tower Trail Run a few times before, and I don’t particularly like the slog up to the actual Tower - and when I say “I don’t particularly like it” we all know I mean I actually fucking hate it and I will just say there is absolutely no truth to the rumour I started the fire there a few months ago so we didn’t have to run up there this year.

So the Great Southern Bolt starts in Myponga which is quite close to where I live in the same way we might say Australia is quite close to New Zealand, because England is even further away. It’s not Naracoorte or Coober Pedy, but in my 4WD at today’s petrol prices it’s still about $65 there [...]

I haven’t been doing many races recently because something something something. I’d like to say I’ve retired like Ash Barty to pursue new dreams, (like becoming a pro pizza eater), but mostly I’ve just been a lazy bastard and haven’t been feeling overly inspired to do races because something something something. I do Conquer the [...]

Not gonna lie, really only entered Hysterical Carnage Backyard Ultra because I thought it would be hysterical, just like the name suggests. Instead it was more Carnage, also like the name suggests. And why the fuck am I surprised? I haven’t run more than about 20kms in six months, so the concept of running a [...]

The worst thing about Covid, aside from you know, the whole death and destruction thing, is when you sign up for an event because you’re capable of doing it and it gets postponed until you’re not, and you decide to do it anyway. Apparently I must have been quite capable of running 23kms of trails [...]