OK, fuck it, I’m calling ‘bullshit’. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed on social media lately, and especially Instagram, it’s people pretending to be real. Ironic much? There’s so much faux “OK, I’m gonna be real, genuine, authentic, blah fucking blah…” and it’s so fucking contrived it ain’t funny.

Genuine isn’t something you do, it’s something you are. Authentic isn’t something you design or come up with or manufacture.

So. Much. Bullshit.

It’s actually excruciating to see all this perfectly curated, soul baring, ‘authenticity’.

Authentic is wobbly bits, and stretchmarks, and snot coming out of your nose when you’re running, and crazy morning hair.

I’m loathe to call out specific examples because that’s probably a bit mean and personal, but when you combine your soul baring moment with some bullshit social media engagement tactic like “tell me what you think..?” or some shit, it’s just fucking embarrassing.

Don’t manufacture your truth, just be and live it.

Share the pretty pictures for sure, fuck knows the world needs more beauty. But just ease off on the feigned sincerity, yeah? There’s only so much I can throw up in my own mouth.

When I see you have 10,000 followers but are only getting 100 or so likes on your posts, I call bullshit.

When I see you post a picture passing it off as current, but I can see it’s literally the same outfit and location you posted months back, I call bullshit.

When you make a big deal about how you’re having a break from social media, and are then back fifteen seconds later all rejuvenated, I call bullshit. I’ve literally taken shits longer than some people’s social media ‘breaks’.

And yeah, I know my rules are just that – mine. But come on people. Less made up truth eh?

If you haven’t got anything real to say, just do what everyone else does and steal someone’s quote and post that.

I never thought I’d say it, but here’s to the real real. Not the fake real, the designer real or the real is the new black real.

Get real.

Let me hear a big ‘Fuck. That.’ to fake true.

Be awesome to, and real with, each other.

(A version of this was originally published on Instagram.)

 

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PHOTO: Not really walking on water – it was just really shallow – on Lake Gairdner Salt Lake, South Australia.